Self-care and self-love are two important things everyone should incorporate in their lives. But then, many people neglect these two which is why they are constantly unhappy, exhausted, and stressed out. One may think there is simply not enough time to focus on self-care and self-love with all the responsibilities stacked on their plate. But by taking self-care and self-love for granted, it would be difficult to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Why Self-care and Self-love Are Hard
There are many reasons many people find it hard to practice self-care and self-love. For one, some parents were not able to teach their children the importance of the two terms. They may teach their kids the importance of self-care, but they fail to be good examples of what they preach. Another reason could be the fact that self-care and self-love are rarely taught in school.
Many people also have unrealistic expectations. You can’t accomplish self-care and self-love in just one day. You may think that treating yourself to the spa, taking a nice vacation, or even getting gold braces and brackets would be enough to erase years of self-neglect. You will need more than a single effort to truly care and love yourself.
It is also quite easy to forget how important self-love is when you are already caring for your loved ones. When time is not enough and you run out of energy each day, you may feel obliged to fill your loved one’s tank. But remember that if you don’t fill your tank first, then you will have less to give to others.
Do You Lack Self-care and Self-love?
Many people don’t even realize that they do lack self-love. They may practice self-care by taking some time off to rest and unwind. But then, self-care is the only first step towards self-love. If you are guilty of the following, then it only goes to show that you need to put more effort to give more love to yourself.
You Are a “Yes Man”
Many people find saying no to their loved ones to be an incredibly difficult task. They may say no at first, but will eventually give after feeling guilty for letting their loved ones down. Surprisingly, people are also more inclined to say yes even if the people asking those favors are strangers.
According to a study, people are more influential than one might think. It can be hard to be the one asking for a favor. But strangers find it even harder to say no because they don’t like the discomfort that comes with saying no. Do you always say yes to almost every person that asks you a favor because you fear you will disappoint them? Maybe you say yes because you often feel guilty for saying no or simply want to show you are committed to helping? If you answered yes to these questions, then it is time that you learn how to say no how to start saying no more often.
You Are a Perfectionist
Studies show that toxic perfectionism hurts our mental health. But did you know that there are three kinds of perfectionism? These are self-oriented, socially prescribed, and other-oriented perfectionism. Out of all the three facets of perfectionism, socially-prescribed is the most dangerous of them all. According to a study, socially prescribed perfectionism is the most relevant one when it comes to increased mental health problems, especially among young people.
People with socially prescribed perfectionism think that other people have unrealistic expectations from them. They believe people are always judging them on how they look, what decisions they make, and what results they create. They punish themselves whenever they fail to meet those expectations. This is why many perfectionists have eating disorders, anxiety, and depression.
You Stay in Unhealthy Relationships
Some people choose to stay in a relationship even if their loved ones are disrespectful, abusive, or unsupportive. Do you have a toxic friend who often belittles or takes advantage of you? Maybe it is your spouse who dishonors you and no longer supports your dreams or aspirations? Unhealthy relationships make you feel bad, unsatisfied, and depressed. But why do people choose to stay when the best decision they can make is to leave?
There can be many reasons why people chose to stay in toxic relationships. Some are afraid to be alone. Others downgrade their expectations to justify their partner’s positive traits. Some already invested lots of resources in their relationship that they fear all hard work will go down the drain. But for some, they simply love too much that they feel like they can no longer live without the other person. This is why many would rather stay and be miserable than free themselves from such toxicity.
Self-love is not just about loving your body. It is about being kinder to yourself and accepting your flaws. It helps you pick up better habits, boost your health and happiness, and even improve your life satisfaction. Know that you need and deserve to love yourself more, whether you show the aforementioned signs or not.